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Conscious Communication: Leading with Appreciations

Dave Shrein April 28, 2023

What are you communicating? And does it add value? Everything you say before, during and after your session has an impact. You have an unique set of skills that you practice day in and day out that helps lots of people: be proud of that! Own your roles as a pain management expert, a healthcare coach or educator, and as a leader who can help guide people out of pain. The wisdom and expertise of what comes from your hands, your heart, and your mind is extremely valuable.

Do you value and appreciate how amazing you are? 

According to research conducted for decades by Drs. Jon and Susan Gottman, the proportional of spoken appreciations versus criticism  is indicative of how toxic or thriving a relationship is. In fact, criticism is the number relationship killer: criticism of others or criticism of oneself. In the healthiest, most thriving relationships, there are at 5 spoken appreciations for everyone 1 criticism.

Do you primarily move through the world looking for what’s wrong ? Or are you looking for what’s going well.

Imagine what it might be like for every one critical thought you think about yourself, you respond with five appreciations… Try that right now:

List 5 things you can appreciate about yourself .

Our mentor, Katie Hendricks says, “Criticism is an assault on one’s being.” Whereas appreciation is the context for thriving relationships. Masterful appreciation requires us to be unarguable, succinct, specific and sincere. And just like a home appreciates or adds value over time, appreciations add value to all of our relationships (inside and out).

How do you appreciate what you do? …your craft?

What can you appreciate about the new things you’re learning in this program?

What is one effective technique, strategy, way of being that you can appreciate right now?

How you value yourself has a direct impact on how effectively you communicate with your clients and help clients get out of pain. The greater you’re able to value, appreciate, and communicate your training, your expertise, and your body intelligence, the more effective, long-lasting results you’ll generate.  As you talk about Advanced Targeted Therapies and as you listen to your clients, we recommend using appreciation as a touchstone to own what you excel at. You have an understanding about the body and pain management that not a lot of many people know about. We can help our clients better when we talk about our expertise. It’s not bragging or showing off. It showing up in your power and potential as a healer.

Do you consider yourself to be a healer? Do you aspire to be a healer?

How do you live into being a healer? 

If I’m not communicating the connections I’m noticing before, during and after the session, it’s challenging for my clients to extend the benefits after the session. “My session (or my hands) will speak for itself” does not translate to someone with little to no body intelligence and won’t extend the benefits compared to someone who is educated. In a culture where we value words and the logical brain, it’s important to honor the cultural imperative of satiating the reasoning mind. Remember pain is Bio-Psycho-Social and if we’re not addressing all of these components, we’re leaving a lot on the table. Everything we’re doing here is assisting others in feeling, moving and living better and if we hide our expertise we interfere with our capacity to help others. We also potentially limit or interfere with our own creative flow and expression when we hold back our insights, our wisdom and our light. Discounting our value, our insights, or our wisdom looks like: Not speaking up. Not sharing what you think, notice or sense. Not asking for or sharing feedback. Not making requests. Assuming things.

How does it feel when you hold back from expressing what you notice?

What does it feel like to be in the flow of expressing your creativity?

Every session and every conversation provides an opportunity to speak from a place of appreciation. And to listen appreciatively.

Would you be willing to begin to lead with appreciation in all your relationships?

We deeply appreciate you for all the work, kindness, and support you so generously gift your clients, your friends and family, and your community with. Below is a paraphrased excerpt from A Course in Miracles by Marianne Williamson. We hope it inspires you, as it inspires us, to let your light shine brightly!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of Universe. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of Creation that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”